You, over there, are reading a person’s writing who has been officially authorized to drive around in a metal box in which they can barely see the road. And this adventure has led to a lot of yells, heart attacks and panik mode in general. It also led to a lot of shopping, sightseeing and weather wars. And accidents. Well, almost-accidents(shhhh…).
What does my driving have to do with the title?
One fine morning, I was driving with my friends. It was the first time I drove up the highway and I was internally screaming hoping I don’t crash into any other car, trying to not get distracted by the chitter-chatter in the car. Surprisingly, the first thing I was told when I mentioned it was my first time was that I was bold and confident with my driving, albeit a little reckless.
“Huh?”
That was totally unexpected. I was scared. But I knew this step had to be taken. I am moving out soon. I need my driver’s license. Being pushed to a corner, I did what I had to do. I had a simple checklist. Do I have the skills to drive straight? Yes. Do I have the skills to turn left and right? Yes (well… it’s okay). Did I know to have a look at the signs? Yes, TMI to process, but I tried my best. I have everything in my head. It was just not automatic yet. This was the aha moment. What people saw was my skills and how bold I was when I executed them. I was only focused on how I felt when I was doing something. What they saw is labelled confidence. What I felt is labelled competence.
Fake it till you make it makes so much sense now. Faking it isn’t about faking. It’s about being confident in what you know and what you can do. Being confident in your skills. Being confident in your ability to know and do. Making it is all about competence. And unfortunately, you cannot get competent until you get good at things. And you can’t be good consistently without repetition. And good practice needs a good attitude.
If you think you have less than a perfect chance of winning, you lose. <100% = 0%.
– Myself XP
Other than tasting the freedom you get from driving around, you also taste the constant focus and correction it requires in the very beginning. Unlike most of the things we do in life, non-correction while driving is known immediately and easily. Irritated honks and heart palpitations as you go wrong to make you wish you weren’t so bad at it. And that wish is real strong. PAAAIINN as we call it in sales.
Pain is what you wish to avoid. Pain is what drives you away from your current state to a new place with less pain. Pleasure doesn’t pull me in. But pain definitely kicks me out. If I like something, I might or might not do it. If I hate something, I will conquer the world to change the situation. This realization is important, and seeing it in action is inspiring. It has helped me define completing a task as not something which is nice, but not completing it as being a pain. Sounds pessimistic but actually works. I’ll take that.
On another note, it’s been a while since I’ve bought and learned something new. One, I just need to be more patient but not slow with everything, including buying the car. Well, considering I need to do it again, I’ll try not to do the same next time. Two, it was absolutely wonderful to see myself improving over every session. The only way to improve on something is by doing. And the only way to know that you’re improving is by noticing what you’re doing. It’s easy when you’re driving counting the number of times you’re honked at. And your fellow passengers’ screams! But for things where you are involved completely, it’s hard to notice how good you’re getting without taking a step back. Recording is the easier option. As you record and do what you do (harder than it sounds), you don’t have to worry about how you do it, you can come back to it later. Memory isn’t very helpful for gradual changes. Recording also keeps your focus locked in history, you can go back to something you’ve done over ten years ago if you wanted to. Take notes. Write your thoughts. Record sessions. Doesn’t need to be clean or hard, just jotted down.
Side Note: I was told by my shooting instructor once to only note down the things I’ve done well during that session. Things which haven’t gone well should also be reframed in a way it’s positive. Eg. If I got a low score on a shot since I was spacing out, I was asked to note down ” I need to focus better”. His reasoning was if you note down things which haven’t gone well, your mind’s focus is diverted to the thoughts which don’t need your attention.
Finally, as I got better, and got my driving license, I stopped being so serious about parking and turning for a while. Is it within the line? That was good enough. Most of the other cars were doing like that anyway. But, a crooked car within parallel lines triggered my itch. And I started following every rule to the T again. Car aligned perfectly, focused while driving, irrespective of others on the road, and taking my time to check if I’m doing better or not. And yes, my turns did get smoother and my parking, a lot faster!
Slow is steady, steady is smooth, and smooth is fast.