“How dare a vagrant profane these sacred precincts? A base, filthy rogue vermin, slinking through My sovereign realm without royal warrant or permission? How dare My faithless servants impose such ignominy upon their liege?”
The tiny creature stood shivering upon the delicate palms of her owner.
“Her name’s Elai-Chi. I picked her up on the street the other day.” Mia showed Alex and Aria, the sibling duo and the slaves of the master of the castle, Muffin the Magnificent.
Muffin McMahon was a cat of the breed Fluffball. Muffin’s daily routine was to lounge on the left side of the sofa—a perfect spot to soak up the sun throughout the day. The glass windows fifty floors up in the sky showed the scenery of the entire neon city. Usually uninterested in anything but the distant scenery and his premium-grade tuna, he turned around, unbribed, for the first time since he set his paws in the castle to figure out the cause of the commotion—a mouse.
“I shall not tolerate the presence of every low-born filth within the bounds of My exalted court,” he proclaimed to the mouse, who was now exploring the humongous house while her owner was busy having tea with the siblings.
The uninvited intruder locked her eyes with the king of the couch. Enraged, Muffin the Mighty decided to exile the tiny creature.
“A sovereign of my stature does not deign to pursue base rabble. Dispatch this interloper forthwith, ye servants,” he meowed to his sidekicks.
Alex and Aria were busy having rich desserts at noon.
The mouse, on the other hand, was bouncing at full throttle towards the couch.
Frustrated, he decided to wield his fluffy tail—the proof of his reign over the family—to hesitantly swish the intruder away from the throne.
“How darest thou, vile peasant, presume to draw nigh unto My august person? Approach no closer than ten regal paces from My sacred domain,” Muffin decreed to the visitor.
Flung halfway across the room, Elai-Chi got back onto her feet unbothered and unhurt. Still determined, she started scampering towards the cat with full force while Muffin wound his for another hit.
Before another home run could be made, Aria picked up the naughty cat. “I know you want to play, but don’t scare away the guest. She’s probably really scared.”
“Scared? With the furious zoomies of which she hath proven herself capable? Hast thou not witnessed her brazen frontal assault upon My royal territory?”
Aria put Muffin down gently on the left side of the couch, kissed him, picked Elai-Chi up, and got back to having tea with the rest.
“Thou artful, treacherous manipulator! What dark arts hast thou employed to undermine My rightful rule? I shall vanquish thee, I swear it upon Mine eternal honor and My unassailable pride.”
Soon, Muffin McMahon took a nap. He needed a way to get the mouse away from his precious territory and people. And he was too tired after the massive swings he took at the mouse.
With a brilliant flash of rumbles, his stomach woke him up for lunch. Muffin McMahon was hungry. He got off the couch—another rare sight—to go eat. After purring for the freshest fish the city could provide, he walked back to the couch for his midday nap. A revelation rang in his head as he saw his old collar lying in the dusty corner of the couch. A bell would be the perfect way for a king to know where the thieves are. So, it was decided for the mouse to be belled. He fell asleep again promptly.
Alex, picking up Muffin’s plate, looked at Mia and Elai-Chi. “I’m sorry, he’s a shy one. He’s scared of newcomers. He was like this with us when we first got him too.” He sighed, “Also, you don’t have to worry; he won’t hurt Chi. He doesn’t eat anything but fresh fish from the market. Aria spoiled him too much.”
“Don’t worry, for a mouse, Chi’s too curious.” She brushed the silky white fur, now shining from the fur-care products Aria gifted them. ”Aren’t you?”
When Muffin McMahon woke up, he saw Elai-Chi napping on the dining table. Muffin knew mice were nocturnal, and it was the best time to scheme before Chi woke up.
He looked at the other couch; he looked at the floor. His servants left the house, so he had to figure out a plan alone. The idea didn’t excite him, but a ruler has to do what needs to be done to control the newcomer.
Muffin slowly melted down the couch and onto the floor. Slightly drooling, slightly heaving, he took a step to the other side of the L-shaped couch. And then another. By the time he was close to the other end, he was crawling across the floor, his butt and tail plopped up in the air. With a final push from his butt, he got under the couch. With flexed paws and manicured nails, Muffin pulled on the bell collar, which refused to budge. It was stuck under the foot of the couch. No matter how much Muffin yanked at it, the collar didn’t come off. With the energy he never had to expend, he pulled on the bell, which snapped and flew across the couch, through the living room, and right under the entrance door. All hope was lost.
Muffin the Magnificent never accepted defeat. He was ready to go out the pet door installed in the entrance. He wriggled his fluffy butt to get out, but his butt was snug with the base of the couch. Muffin McMahon was stuck underneath. All hope was lost. Muffin accepted defeat.
“One must endure the loss of a single skirmish to secure ultimate victory in the greater campaign,” he told himself, patiently awaiting his servants to help him get out from under the couch. As he waited, he drifted off to sleep.
Chi saw the whole thing with unblinking eyes.
Hours later, when the servants finally returned…
When Muffin woke up, he found himself on Mia’s lap and a hairbrush with matted mess and dirt he picked up.
“Aren’t you the sweetest?” Mia buried her face in his creamy fur, much to his despair.
“Desist at once, thou presumptuous outsider,” Muffin purred in lofty disdain.
“Aww, he likes you,” Alex said in a cutesy tone.
“Muffin’s the best. It was so funny walking into the house only to see his tail out of the couch,” Aria couldn’t stop laughing.
Muffin pulled Mia to the couch to get his collar out. He succeeded. He then looked for the pest. She wasn’t on the table. No one had realized Chi was gone.
Muffin sighed. He could track the scent of the mouse, but it was too much work. The trail went outside the house. Chi must have snuck out of the house when the crew came in.
It was beneath him to rescue a foreign subject, but he was a benevolent king. He stretched his spine, flexed his toes, and wriggled his butt again. Then he dragged himself across the floor to the entrance. The group—engrossed in the tiny pink collar—paid him no attention.
Once at the entrance, he had to cross the biggest hurdle in his life—fitting through the cat door. It was a test of courage and will. He pounced into the flipping door one foot high from the floor and used his paws to squeeze himself out. And outside he saw the trembling mouse, with the bell attached to her tail.
The metal ring, which once attached the tiny bell to the collar, slid on her tail perfectly. Muffin McMahon was strangely pleased before feeling confused.
“Why hath she presumed to claim this token? Were all Mine noble exertions rendered futile?”
Before he could wallow further, a low rumbling sound came from the next door. A huge black guard dog stood outside, unchained. Chi froze in fear. Muffin was taken aback.
“You would make a delicious snack.” The dog licked his lips, drooling through his piercing canines.
“Verily? A wretched street scrap of vermin? I knew not thy palate was so utterly debased!” Muffin retorted, standing firm between the dog and Chi.
“Do you want me to make you my lunch?” The dog growled back.
Muffin laughed with regal contempt, “Fresh chicken meat and marrow bones would surely prove a more worthy feast than my majestic fur. Wouldst thou risk choking upon such vain bulk?”
Muffin could see the dog drool further.
“I shall procure thee suitable tribute in due course,” Muffin McMahon declared. He turned around, picked Chi up, and swung into the door before wriggling his butt again.
The three saw Chi’s bell as Chi and Muffin crawled across the floor near the couch—they had no life left in them.
“That’s a cute bell!” Mia pointed at Chi’s tail.
Aria added, bouncing off the sofa to grab Muffin and Elai-Chi. “That’s the bell from this collar. He’s adopted Chi now. I think he wants you to have the collar. Cats gift objects to people they like. Looks like Muffin’s taken a liking to Chi and you.”
“Let’s play some music. Don’t you love the pop songs from the Far West, Chi?” Aria started swinging the pets in the air.
Alex laughed, “It would make a cute bracelet, though it’s missing the bell now. It’s the first collar Muffin had as a kitten. We picked him up at the old theater Aria goes to. The staff at the theater told us he was glued to the dramas from the last millennium.”
Aria called for both, screaming in joy, “They’re having a dance battle against each other!”